Chocolate Pudding is Delicious But...

A nice fellow by the name of micfranxon left a comment on my last entry:

"Deep down I wonder what Peterbeast thinks of all this."

Well, I guess we know for pretty certain that he's not happy about it. To say the least.

I haven't heard from Greggerz since it happened. He doesn't answer his telephone device when I call and he doesn't reply to the e-mails I've sent. But I suppose I should give him some time? I don't exactly know how one approaches someone after you've gotten them tied up and a gun waved in their face.

And I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. All I know is I've eaten chocolate pudding for breakfast, lunch, and dinner since it happened.

I can't get the last thing Greggerz said out of head...

"How did Peter get here in the first place?"

How indeed.

I think it's time for another chocolate pudding.

Chocolicious,
Anne

Love? What Do I Know!

Ever since that...outing...with Greggerz, I've been feeling really weird. Like, my insides feel all fizzy when I think about him. Or sometimes my toes and fingers get cold and I feel like I have to sneeze. And most of all, I think about when I'll get to spend some time with him again.

Look, I've had boyfriends before. I may be 16, but hey, I guess I'm just quick on the "interest in boys" front.

Okay, I'll say it, I'm BOY CRAZY!

But this feels different than that. It's almost like I like him but I'm scared of him at the same time. Come on, I read all your comments and see your videos, I'm aware that most of you want me to have nothing to do with him.

So do I listen to all of you or to what my heart is telling me?

Even if in the end this all goes kaplooey and you all say, "see, see, I told you so!"...I don't know, I feel like if this is "love" or whatever, it'd be worse to never have it at all than to go for it and have it at least for a little bit.

Is this what growing up feels like? I'm not sure I like it just yet.

Discombobulated,
Anne

Can't Sleep

It's almost 4:30 AM in Los Angeles time. Princess is awake and playing loud music in her room. And though it's loud, it sounds really sad. I hope she's okay.

Normally I could sleep through something like this. But I've got a lot on my mind. I guess I'm pretty sad myself.

People are being so mean to Greggerz. Saying I should stay away from him and not trust him. Commenting on the way he dresses. Making fun of his fuzzy friend. I'd feel awful if people said those kinds of things about me when I was just trying to make a friend.

Maybe that's all he needs: a friend.

Jerry?

Wow.

So I don't know if Jerry reads this or not but Jerry...are you all right? I've never seen you this way!

Everything will be okay, I promise. I may be a kid, but I'm scrappy.

Your "little sis" can take care of herself.

--Anne

PS You might want to talk to Bethany. She seemed pretty angry that you called Toots "whimpy".

Trust Issues

Another week of boredom and time to think. Aparantly people have a lot of opinions on this fellow Greggerz. But everyone seems to forget that I know him. I know him a lot better than I know most of them. And it's not that I'm not greatful for everyone's opinions, it is very kind of everyone to be so concerned about me. But in my life right now, trust is everything. I would probably be dead right now if it weren't for the kindness of others and I have, have, have to believe I can trust those people.

It's such a strange time. I feel like my heart is cut in half and in two different places.

I guess it pretty much is.

Sorry for the sad sap everyone.

Contemplative,
Anne